#43 The Call to Adventure

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” - Pablo Picasso. Life is a stream of journeys, a series of goings and comings through which our minds are refined and bodies purified. Each new experience revealing something deeper about the nature of our being, and the potential of our souls. It’s a universal theme, this notion that we all have something special laying within us - a passion, a skill, a dream, or simply something to serve. Waiting to be discovered, and destined to be shared with the world. The adventure is perpetually calling. The question is… are we listening?

#42 The Twitch Teacher

I’ve come to believe that a muscle twitch, at least the ones that I have experienced, are more than just a random spasm. It is a glimmer of energy attempting to push it’s way through the system. Fluttering open the fascia or muscle or skin in such a sudden and forceful way, that one cannot control oneself.

I’m sure they can often be chalked up to a mineral difficiency of some sort, but the snese I’ve gathered is that they take place in places in which the body is typically numb. Not numb in the obvious, complete absence of feeling sense, but numb in the sense that sensation is dulled, there is lack of blood flow, a lack of awareness or consciousness in the place.

The spasm is a reminder that the body part is there, it is alive, and it is capable of transmitting energy. It is one step towards greater awareness, having the twitch. Then noticing the twitch, not as simply an annoyance, but as a teacher, one can begin the path towards deeper insight.

The twitch teacher. 

#41 The Journey with No End

We’re all so unique – different upbringings, accents, experiences and styles. We all have our own story, and that point of difference is also our point of connection.

All coming from somewhere, and going some place else. All with a hope or dream, or at least some desire we’re after, and the inevitable obstacles that seemingly lay in the way of our destination.

The morals and themes of our narratives are different, but they all share the same arc. A fundamental pattern to the nature of existence. The origin, rise, fall and rise again. A wiggling line, wavering up and down, missing the mark time and time again, until it doesn’t, and the old ways upend.

Only to live on in the hearts and minds of those who watched and listened to our tragedies and triumphs, while our souls begin again, on the journey with no end.

#40 Get Your Guru Here

Don’t go searching for a guru, when you are ready, the guru will find you. Or something like this, is the quote I’ve heard stated by yogis and mystics. Sadghuru says something like this.

I’ve always wondered what this means, how this could be the case. And then something dawned on me. Perhaps the guru is not a teacher in the typical, wise old man ready to dispel knowledge my way. Instead, perhaps the guru is the one who comes searching for something from you.

After all, isn’t it in the teaching of something, when you really begin to learn and know something very well? Or in the helping of someone, that we get beyond our personal issues, and expand into something greather than ourselves? Or even in the learning to deal with circumstances and people that seemingly causing us pain, that we learn to go within and find the means to come out the other side more resilient and with a deeper sense of self?

The young child, who brings all of their questions to you, and in their asking, they remind you of the wonders of being young. Or in the case of the shaman, it is the patient that the shaman needs. In this strange, almost twisted sort of way, the shaman needs the illness and darkness in order to perform their duty and perfect their craft. Or even when it comes to our own physical pains and traumas… lurking from the shadows to reveal something to us about the nature of the deepest parts of our being.

The guru, or teacher comes in many forms. If not from a wide old man, or even a young child, then even from a place within, when the time is right. 

#39 The In-Between Times

Punctuation, it gives our language rhythm. Every comma, parentheses, period and exclamation, makes a moment of suspense, focus, emphasis and completion.

Without them our words would be difficult to comprehend. A mashpot of ideas with no real beginning or end. A story lost in the mix, indistinguishable from the sound.

And so in this sense we can also think about the larger language of our lives. The daily movements we make in every action we take. So often we hustle and grind, we go go go to get from here to there, to accomplish this thing and that, and sure, the wheel keeps spinning, but the plot’s far out of sight.

Because it’s in the moments of pause and reflection, of ecstasy, mystery and wonder, where we finally hear our hearts beat and our souls sing. The in-between times, where meaning springs forth and the long lost stories of our lives find their way onto the page.

#38 Managing the Time of Our Lives

I’ve always been perplexed by the two seemingly different ways of living: to go with the flow vs. to plan and strategize. The hippies opt for path one, while the entrepreneurs go with the latter.

But what I’ve come to realize over my time exploring both lifestyles, is that a little bit of both is often needed.Too much flow and life can sort of devolve and disperse. Too much structure, and life itself dries up. To go both with, and against the flow seems to be an equation for moving through life with balance and grace.

It reminds me of when I was mixing my biodynamic fertilizer mix last year while prepping our garden. “Stir vigorously making a vortex almost to the bottom of the barrel.  Reverse your stir.” I think the value in going against the swirl has to do with aerating the water.

I’ve started to do the same thing when whisking my hot cacao drinks. Interestingly enough, on the reverse swirl, when the new current runs counter to the previous one, the liquid seems to sort of spiral. As if it’s the counteraction of one direction with the other that creates a lemniscate - the infinity symbol.

Two mirror image strands, coming together to create a continuous, regenerating, flow of energy. The balance of opposites, working in harmony to recharge and replenish life force. That’s my best guess at what’s happening when we strike the delicate balance in how we manage the time of our lives.

#37 Light of the Soul, Enters Through the Hole

What does it take, to create the space, in mind and body, for the soul to come through? For our light to fully shine?

I love the quote by Robert Bly, where he says “People too healthy, too determined to jog, too muscular, may use their health to prevent the soul from entering. They leave no door. Through the perfection of victory they achieve health, but the soul enters through the hole of defeat”.

I’ve experienced this myself. The obsession with working out 6 times a week and eating super strict, consumed with the goal of dropping fat or looking shredded. It put myself into a state of perpetual stress… of constant tension which made it difficult to ever loosen up. To literally let my fascia unwind, and my nervous system calm, my diaphragm to drop and my brow to soften. Tightness can be great, and so can working out, but the flip side is also important.

Sometimes it’s when we’re most insane about our routines or diets, to the point where it starts to take us out of the present moment and disconnect us from the reason we started them in the first place, when we need to back off a bit and reexamine ourselves. Widen our perspectives, shake out our bodies, and notice the subtle movements that start to find their way through the openings.. and wind their way through our being.

#36 Communicating the World into Being

Communication is a world changing art. To reach into the realm of ideas, and articulate the vision of something that has yet to be seen in the physical realm, in a way that inspires, is a transformational process.

It brings into light the imaginary form in which fresh life can be breathed. It projects a potential, into our shared atmosphere, so that it can be grasped by mind, felt by hearts, and built with hands.

Communication, is truly a boundary hopping practice, a realm shaping trade, and a community building craft. 

#35 Soul Food

Soul food… what is it? All those things that I love to eat, but I know aren’t good for me, that’s what I’ve called soul food. Ice cream, pizza, chocolate… the things that if you eat a bite of it’s too little, and a serving of it’s too much.

You regret eating it a little, but also know you wouldn’t be the same person, or as happy a person, if you never had it again.

I’ve gone long stretches of time without eating junk food or sweets, even alcohol. 4 years without alcohol, maybe a year without sugar. At the time, I felt like I was being healthier these stricter diets. But those years have also been some of the most physically painful of my life.

Once I started to eat some sweets and drink some alcohol again, I began noticing what feels like a sort of darkness creeping in. My body gets kind of tight and crampy in different places, my mind starts to wander, I become more lethargic. In many ways this feels negative. But strangely, when this happens I experience a sort of recoiling effect. Here’s what I mean:

When I don’t eat these foods, for whatever reason I have historically gotten so stiff and straight and focused on eliminating the impurities in my body, that I quite literally burn myself out and stretch myself thin. When I eat the soul foods, my body begins to cave in, it cools down, in curls up. And in between these two states is where the magic has been for me.

Of course, every body and circumstance will be different, but for me it’s been in the transitioning where I’m not too rigid or floppy, where I’ve been able to find more of a center and balance. It’s quite literally, as if the soul foods, like wine, bread and ice cream soften me to the extent that I can start to break down and then open up, I’ll go as far as to say, to the energy of spirit.

This isn’t to say that a diet full of soul foods is optimal or sustainable in the long run, but it has at least humbled me to not be so set in my ways of hardcore dieting, or hedonistic grubbing, and that the middle way, can be found, in many unexpected places.

#34 Journey of the Ecliptic

I look to the sky and see the journey of the sun, making its way along the ecliptic. Moving through Virgo and into Libra, Scorpio and then Saggitarius. The path isn’t clear to the naked eye, looking at the sun rise and fall day to day. But the work has been put in over the ages to identify the subtle ways in which the sun shifts its location in the sky depending on where the Earth is at a particular point in time. It’s a wave-like journey, the ecliptic that is. Rising and falling through the archetypes of the Zodiac. Telling a story of the qualities of the universe, manifested through the astrological energies we call the signs. Tethering together the expressions of nature into a continuously repeating cycle of time and life, serving as a reflection of our own journeys of mind, body and soul, composing the fabric of a universal being. 

#33 To Flow or Not to Flow: A Contemplation on Writer's Block

I’m not sure what to write about. I’ve been telling myself that I’m going to share everyday, but that really does require that I keep writing.

So here I am, greasing the gears to keep the thoughts and words flowing. I’m not sure what will come through, and yet as I write this right now, I’m realizing that this is what’s coming through. As if what was coming through in the moment was not good enough, my mind is wandering, searching for something that is worthy to be written, worthy to be shared with the world. And is it not in the devaluing of my current state of being, the thoughts and feelings and energies that are coursing through my mind and body, as not worthy enough, that I simply push myself deeper into the block, damming the hole which is the vessel for my art, but will only pour forth if I keep the contents flowing?

There will be times when there is more swirling, and times when the spout is dry, and perhaps, it may even make sense to turn the faucet off every once in awhile for a little maintenance. But I think having the discretion to know when one is burnt out and dry, vs. when one is all dammed up and ready to burst forth, is the fine art of living, of which I’ll forever be a student. 

#32 AI & The Tapping of Human Energy

I’ve noticed that when I use ChatGPT too much, rather than tapping into my own creative wellspring to write or put something together, I feel a little grimy. And not just grimy in the sense that I cheated my way into something, but grimy in my body.

My shoulders slump a bit, by spine compresses, and my hands get a little cold. It’s like I lose a little bit of energy – I outsource a bit of my power to the machine, I give some of my fire away to the bot.

Is it too much to say, that I lose a bit of my life force, sell some of my soul to the artificial one inside of the screen? There are many great advantages that come with working with AI as a tool to support, to check or reference in some cases.

But to rely on it as a source of expression, as a means for creative output, devalues the human being. It subverts the soul for the sake of efficiency, expediency, and convenience. Sure, we’ll get things quicker, but we do so at the expense of the process.. at the expense of the ups and downs, suffering and realizations that come through the act of creation itself.

There’s a lot of talk about the threats of AI to humanity and civilization, but I don’t hear this issue talked about. The dangers not of jobs being replaced, but of minds and bodies being hallowed by the ravenous, energy expensive algorithm.

Just like any tool ever invented in the history of mankind, AI can be used for the betterment or detriment of life on earth. The path it takes, will be solely dependent on our ability to stay rooted in our sense of self, grounded in our bodies, and guided by a creative vision and ideal which transcends the goal of attaining the object of our desires, and remains perpetually fueled by our love of, and reverence for, the journey that gets us there.

#31 - DNA: A Shared Ancestor

It’s incredible to think that all living things have DNA. It’s a unifying factor, making it clear, that at the molecular level, we all come from the same stuff.

It’s expansive and mysterious to also think, that all four nucleobases which make up DNA can be found in meteorites in space. Evidence our basic building blocks, our essential structure, is spread out across the cosmos within non-living and non-earthly things as well.

The fabric of our being, and the materials of its fibers, are woven throughout all of creation. 

#30 The Sun, The Moon & The Act of Letting Go

The other night was the full moon. A typical practice on full moon nights is letting go of something. I wasn’t quite sure what to let go of. I often feel like my body is holding onto so much, but it’s not clear what. So a little reflection on what to let go of got me thinking about the process of letting go itself.

The importance and significance of it. And strangely, in letting go of the need to let go, it dawned on me that integration, the process towards what Carl Jung called individuation or developing one’s self, is only possible with separation. If there is no separation, no letting go of something that we once felt the need to have, or at least the desire to have it, then there can be no integration of that item under the hood of one’s personality. The state of our being remains subject to its influences.

Letting go doesn’t necessarily need to be a physical act, it can be a psychic or mental one, in which an idea or belief is no longer identified with, or attached to. It then falls away from the self and becomes something ‘other’. It’s fascinating how the process of letting go seems to be the essential step to becoming more whole. In the hole that results from the separation, something else must take its place. Perhaps it’s a greater understanding or a creative spirit that now has space to come into existence as a result of this wider perspective. And from this place, a deeper, more intimate relationship with the essence of the thing, the object, or the being can be established.

The dance between the sun and the moon reflect this process beautifully. It is when the sun is completely opposite the moon, most separated from its partner, that the moon shines its brightest. The sun sees the moon for what it truly is, and under this light of this awareness, the moon begins it’s journey back around to be close, or together with the sun again. 

And just like that, my body started to loosen its grip on itself. 

#29 Creativity vs. Chaos

So many things seem to be going wrong in the world. All of these people pointing fingers, but what is actually the issue? Is it that there is a select group or pathogen sabotaging us as a means to inflict pain or gain control? Perhaps. Or perhaps it is essentially just chaos… the force of entropy itself whose nature is to test the strength of our structure. A dark force, that can only be navigated by finding common ground, developing a shared vision, and organizing effectively towards the destination. An open mind and clear communication (between and within people) bring light to that darkness and allows growth to emerge from contraction, and creativity to prevail through chaos.   

#28 The Trifecta of Being

Thinking, feeling, doing. Three key parts of the human experience. One is rational, using the brain. The other one you might call emotional or intuitive, using the heart. And doing is the by product of the two, the action that is taken as a response to the thoughts and feelings coursing through one’s being.

If these are the core elements to the human experience, then the question of how to improve the human experience leads me to wonder whether or not we have any control over these elements. Are we truly the captains of our ship? Can we be the masters of our own destiny, if we are subject to the whims of these processes? Or do we actually have the ability to sit back, witness the thinking, feeling and doing taking place, and transform / transmute them if we see fit?

We’re not our thoughts, or our emotions, or our actions. They are indicators of the state of our being, shaped by our perception of the world, and guided by the stories we hold about them. The same thing can happen to two different people, but each will interpret it differently based on the lens through which they see the world. 

Widening our perception, and our ability to see a more beautiful story, can do wonders for our lives, but it requires an opening of our being. An accepting of that which is – all thoughts, feelings, and sensations - an allowing for all things to flow through our systems, whether desired or not.

More thoughts, emotions, and behavioral patterns will course their way through the mind, heart and body. And with this, we gain access to a wider range of human experience, as well as the ability to begin to weave the thoughts, feelings and behaviours of our being towards the experience our soul desires.

#27 Stories of Substance

We all have a story. A past, a present and a future in our hearts and minds that define who we are, or at least, who we believe ourselves to be.

This story shapes us – it either limits or empowers. Story, is what we all have in common. Yet at the same time, it is the thing that pulls us apart. Religions, ideologies, economies and societies are all stories, often waging war over difference in perspectives.

Narratives frame our view and shape our worlds, and in turn we try to shape the world in their image. Empires rise and fall. Heros are born and die.

Stories are tragic, yet they are the fuel which keeps us moving forward. Stories define and divide, but they are also grounded in the divine. They are the fabric of our souls, and let’s not mistake our many designs, for the substance in which they all reside. 

#26 Spine of the Soul

Stories hold things together. They hold the mind together, bringing order and meaning to what’s often a chaotic mix of fleeting thoughts and ideas.

They hold information together, into a coherent series of bits that become more than just random factoids easily forgotten, but key elements of a scene, educational, inspirational or revelational that lodges itself in the memory.

In a sense, stories are the backbone of our lived experience. In a similar way, our own spines hold us up and keep our parts intact.

A strong spine keeps us alert, upright, and energized, just as does a powerful story. Is it a coincidence that the shape of a healthy spine, is the same shape as a vibrant story? I don’t think so.

They are fundamental patterns of mind and body, which find their reflection within a shared structure, foundation and fabric of soul.  

# 25 Cacao Ceremony: A Story Container

I just wrote about stories as being a type of crystallization, a preservation of passing moments over time. And this idea that when we see these stories for what they are, crystallizations which break down over time, we begin to see through them all into a deeper layer of who we are.

Of course, because I’m a cacao lover, this makes me think about ceremonial cacao, and the process of drinking it. It comes in a block, solid and crystallized. It may not be the beautifully tempered and glossy crystallization which the chocolatiers prefer, but it is crystallized nevertheless. Yet when we heat it up and melt it down, and then drink it, we are reminded that solid structures can become fluid. The biochemical compounds of the cacao are broken down and absorb into our bloodstream, and in effect the vasodilating properties of the theobromine open up our vessels and our blood flows stronger.

Our cells are flooded with more blood, and if breathing deep, more oxygen, coupled with more lymph being circulated and I’d make the case that the cascade trickles down to affect the hydration of our tissues. More blood flow, and hence more water flow throughout our body.

And fascinatingly enough (because interestingly doesn’t quite capture the feeling I’m trying to get at), when we are in these states of more flow, and our hearts are more and our tissues start to loosen, our mind opens up a bit as well. The limitations, fears, anxieties and doubts we often hold begin to fade a bit, and new possibilities, ideas and dreams emerge to the forefront.

In the same way the cacao is liquified in our cups, our minds and bodies liquify in the container of our being… the old stories begin to dissolve and we are faced with the opportunity to see new ones emerge.

# 24 A Short Story About Stories

Story is the articulation of the passage of events over the course of time. In a way, it seems to sort of freeze into place, or preserve the happenings of the present moment. The present moment leaves a wake behind itself. Expressing highs and lows of vibration, resulting in a wave like or spiral like pattern of peaks and troughs.

And the stories we tell, the recollections of events, take on this shape as they outline the patterns of this passage. If a verbal story is the crystallization of a series of events, can we draw a comparison with physical form… of matter? Rocks, crystals, plants, animals, the earth and human beings… we are made up of material that arose out of a present moment, and has taken shape for some period, before ultimately falling back into the source from which it sprang.

In this sense, perhaps we can say that a story is not only a verbal or mental construction, but can also be a physical manifestation. We don’t just hold stories  in our minds or books,. the world as we know it is literally made of stories.. it is a story. One that is constantly evolving, changing, fading away and reemerging. The story exists on multiple levels, from the most gross down to the microscopic and quantum.

Amongst life as we know it, it’s roots are in the DNA which constitutes the fabric of our being. Our DNA holds the story of our lineage… passed down through the generations… again, crystallizations of the events and experiences that have taken place over millenia… the byproduct of evolution and epigenetic imprintation. Yet, I think there’s something in many of us that says we are more than our bodies, we are more than this earth or the physical reality we live in.

We are not just our DNA, but there is something about us which underpins our earthly existence. There is something about who we are that transcends our lifetime… that extends far before and will endure long after our time here in this incarnation. But what is it? Our souls? Our spirits? Our true nature?

There seems to be some thread, some continuous sense of self which permeates the cycles of time. Which weaves together the revolutions of the universe, the manifestations of this reality, and all the stories which permeate it and their fleeting physical existence on this plane. The forms come and go, the surface level stories come to life but then pass away, and what is left, what lives on, what is revealed through these unravellings are the stories of who we really are.